Gojira, Gojira!

So my 30 year-old roommate has this pet iguana, i mean chameleon. It is a stupid lizard that does nothing productive with it's time whatsoever. I usually don't have to see it doing nothing at all (which I'm happy about because if I did I would probably flip out and rip its tail off, but then it would probably grow another one and I'd get even more mad. It would be a vicious cycle of anger and growth). But sometimes, when I walk out of the bathroom, I can see into my roommates room and that stupid lizard is just sitting in it's cage doing nothing. I CAN'T STAND IT! Every time I look at it, and we make eye contact or something, it winks at me and I just want to scream. It knows exactly what it's doing. One time, I thought I saw it creepin' across a fake limb to it's water bucket so I slowly walked into the room to catch it actually doing something productive with its time, but as soon as I took two steps, it just stopped and smiled at me! I was furious. I started punching its cage to make it move. Oh, I made it move alright. That stupid lizard fell right on its back and the water bucket fell all over his face. I couldn't tell if it got a tear in its eye or if it was just the water from the bucket, but I'm pretty sure I showed it who's boss (RIP Tony Danza). Now I know why the Japanese scream and yell so much when Godzilla shows its face: they aren't scared, they're just flipping angry that it's bothering them.